Toward Our Parents
A Growing Divide
It seems to be a growing problem worldwide. This tension between generations, this heartbreaking divide between parents and their children. While my own experience is limited to what I see here in the United States and within my own family, it’s clear that many young people today carry heavy burdens of resentment toward their parents. Sometimes it begins as hurt that was never talked about or expectations that were never met. Sometimes it’s simply the ache of misunderstanding that grows over time. Whatever the cause, it’s a sorrowful reflection of how easily love can be overshadowed by pain, and how desperately our world needs the healing power of forgiveness.
Sacrifice and Love Behind the Scenes
So many people carry unresolved resentment toward their parents. Sometimes it comes from harsh words spoken long ago, mistakes made in weakness, or love that wasn’t expressed in ways the child could understand. Yet behind most of those memories lies something that cannot be overlooked. Parents who loved deeply, who sacrificed more than they ever told, and who gave the best of what they had, even when their best fell short of perfection.
Many mothers and fathers have quietly surrendered personal dreams so their children could chase theirs. They’ve worked extra hours, set aside their own comforts, and carried unseen burdens so their sons and daughters could grow, learn, and stand on their own feet. They have endured sleepless nights, prayed silent prayers, and worried about their children long after the lights went out. Yet the deeper their love, the more invisible it can become over time. A love that becomes hidden beneath the weight of daily life, misunderstandings, and the rush of growing up.
Modern Challenges for Parents
For several generations now, parents have been forced to confront an entirely new level of challenge in raising their children. The world their sons and daughters are growing up in is filled with dangers that simply did not exist, or were far more hidden, and easier to protect children from in earlier times. Parents, for several generations now, have had to battle against the powerful influence of drugs, alcohol, and pornography, all of which threaten to steal the innocence and safety of their children. It is painful beyond words for a mother or father to see their child drawn toward these things, and even more painful when love and correction are misunderstood as judgment or control.
It’s frightening for a parent to face issues they themselves may never have experienced or understood. Many of them were raised in homes where such topics were never spoken of, where respect for authority was assumed, and where moral boundaries seemed clearer. Now, they find themselves navigating a world that changes faster than they can keep up with. Navigating a world where technology exposes children to temptation at younger ages, where peer pressure is fierce, and where spiritual values are constantly challenged. Parents often find themselves in the heartbreaking position of having to choose between protecting their child and preserving peace in the home. And sometimes, in the difficult process of trying to do both, they stumble.
Bridging the Generational Gap
The parents of the 1960s were raised in a world where values were simpler but rules were stricter. They came of age during times of social upheaval and spiritual searching, when traditions were being questioned, yet family and faith still anchored most homes. As society evolved, each new generation faced challenges that seemed unimaginable to the one before it; from television and music that tested boundaries to the internet (which is easily accessible on cell phones). These technologies have changed how children see and think. What once took years to influence a child can now happen in a moment’s scroll. No wonder parents often feel unprepared. They are standing in the eye of the storm, but facing it with tools different from the ones they were given.
God designed the family to be a place of love, guidance, and blessing. He attached a promise to the commandment to honor one’s parents. It’s a promise of well-being, peace, and a long life.
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12
“Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2–3
This isn’t simply about obeying rules; it is about a posture of the heart. When a son or daughter chooses respect and seeks to understand, even when circumstances are difficult, they invite God’s blessing and protection into their own life. Love and honor toward parents help restore relationships, bring internal peace, and create a foundation for happiness that flows throughout life.
The Weight of Unforgiveness
If every son or daughter could look back with gentler eyes instead of hate and anger, they might see that their parents weren’t always equipped with answers for the storms they faced. They were often scared, unsure, and doing their best with the tools they had. Love doesn’t always express itself in perfect words or actions, but that doesn’t make it any less genuine. The truth is, most parents’ deepest desire is simply to see their children whole, safe, and walking in truth.
Sadly for the child, unforgiveness is a chain that binds the heart. It keeps the soul tethered to old pain, replaying moments that cannot be changed. It whispers that justice is ours to hold, when in truth, only God can heal what’s been hurt. Jesus taught forgiveness not as a gentle suggestion, but as a path to freedom. When He said, “Forgive,” He wasn’t excusing wrongs, He was showing us how to let go of the bitterness that poisons peace. Colossians 3:13 reminds us, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not a one-time act; it’s a decision we sometimes have to make again and again. Each time we lay the hurt at Jesus’ feet, we loosen the grip of pain a little more. We stop letting the past define who we are, and we start allowing grace to shape who we’re becoming.
When Jesus spoke about forgiveness, He linked it directly to our own relationship with God.
Mark 11:26 (KJV)
But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14 (KJV)
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
These verses aren’t meant to condemn, but to remind us that the heart cannot hold both grace and grudges at the same time. The more we forgive, the more room there is for God’s peace to dwell within us. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It’s an open door through which healing can finally enter.
Moving Forward in Grace
To forgive also means to move forward. It doesn’t mean pretending the pain never happened or acting as though everything was right. It means choosing to release what we cannot fix and trusting God to redeem what we cannot understand. It means no longer allowing the past to dictate our peace today. In choosing forgiveness, we honor not only our parents but also our heavenly Father, who continually forgives and restores us.
When we forgive, we take our hands off what belongs in God’s care. We open the door for reconciliation or, when reconciliation isn’t possible, for peace to take its place. We begin to see that every parent is also a child of someone, shaped by their own struggles and limitations. Compassion begins where judgment ends, and that is where love can finally breathe again.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase memory, but it transforms it. The same moment that once caused pain can become a place of wisdom, empathy, and even gratitude. God has a remarkable way of using what once wounded us to strengthen our faith and teach us tenderness toward others.
Romans 8:28 (KJV)
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
Psalm 34:18 (KJV)
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Proverbs 3:1-2 (KJV)
My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
So whether your parents are still living or have long gone home, the invitation remains: forgive, release, and move forward. Do it not just for them, but for your own heart and for the freedom that only grace can give.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of parents, imperfect in so many ways, yet chosen by You for our lives. Help us to see them through the eyes of mercy, remembering their love and their sacrifices more than their shortcomings. Where there is pain or misunderstanding, bring Your healing. Where there is distance, sow seeds of compassion and hope. Teach us to forgive as You have forgiven us: freely, completely, and without condition. Let Your peace guard our hearts as we release every grudge and sorrow into Your hands. Fill us with grace to love without measure and to walk forward unburdened, trusting You to make all things new. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Jesus ~ Amazing Grace! 