Ecclesiastes 4:12 (HCSB) And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. In my eyes, this verse is one of the verses in the Bible that speak about union with our Father in Heaven, and especially that of a marriage: husband, wife and their relationship with God ~ YHWH the god of the Israelites, whose name was revealed to Moses as four Hebrew consonants (YHWH) called the tetragrammaton.
Ecclesiastes is authored by Solomon, it says so in the 1st verse of chapter 1, There has been some dispute about who is the author, but I’m going with what the Bible says. It’s no problem for me to believe that this book was written toward the end of Solomon’s life, because of the regrets he underwent in his realization of how far he had strayed from God. Along with so many other things, he finally came to the realization that he’d abused God’s plan of marriage (he had 700 wives) by using it as a diplomatic tool while he reigned as King over Israel. All throughout the Bible, God and Jesus talk about the sanctity of marriage and especially in the NT how marriage is a mirror of Jesus and the church when he refers to himself as the bridegroom and the church as the bride.
In the Hebrew language the number three (shelosh) means harmony, new life, and completeness. The number 3 is used 467 times in the Bible, but less than the number 7 which is used 860 times. Nevertheless, it’s a significant number in so many ways. If you have the interest and the time to study, you’ll see that the Bible has several numbers that have significance throughout scripture. Now I digress and will write more about the number 3 in another blog
…so back to marriage… I will qualify my thoughts by saying that both the husband and the wife need to want a great marriage and to also have a relationship with God…this can’t be done by husband or wife alone, however, you can pray that if it’s God’s will that your spouse will seek Salvation in Christ and to be born in them the desire to make your marriage the best it can be…
When we, as a couple, walk with Heavenly Father in Shelosh (harmony, new life and completeness), we add to the beauty of our marriage when we choose to make Him the center in our lives as individuals as well as a couple. Am I saying to you that once you do, that all will be perfect…I don’t know ~ it may take a little time, but it’s up to you both as to how much you and your spouse are willing to base your life around the truth of scripture.
If you decide that your goal is to bring God into your marriage, you need to make time together as a couple to include Heavenly Father in your life; pray to Him together, study your Bible together, go to church together. Ultimately make up your mind that everything you do includes God and that you’re doing it for HIS Glory! Become deliberate as a couple entwined with God (a 3 strand cord) in His place as the rightful head of your household. Eventually, this process of becoming deliberate will make everything you face less daunting and it will allow forgiveness, repentence, compassion and contentment to bloom and flourish. It will allow your faith and your walk with God to become the anchor of your marriage instead of you falling into the world of temptations and immorality.
Ephesians 5:22-25 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This all being said, I’m certain that there are many that are saying right now…”HOW do I make time for this”? How do I live in this world and still have time for myself? How do I go to my job? Take care of the kids? Do my share of the house upkeep and still have time for us to spend together, much less, make time to spend together with God? In case you haven’t noticed, that time is one of things that God has given equally to all his creation…it’s up to us to make the most of it.
Now comes the “TIME” when you make choices: how important is your marriage vs. social media, hobbies, entertainment (tv, books, etc), things, in-laws, yourself, and even your desire to serve the church can take away from your marriage, leaving the partner to feel guilty because they don’t have your zeal. If your marriage started out with true and abiding love then it’s possible to save it, but you can’t just sit still and let it flounder until there’s nothing left.
Do you decide to nurture your marriage or let it die? Do you forget about your vows, to LOVE, HONOR and CHERISH til death do you part? Or is it time to turn to God? Do you trod along until that big “D” word is an acceptable part of your vocabulary…and sadly it’s been preceded by the I don’t LOVE You! I Hate You! Why did I ever marry you? I feel trapped! You don’t do your share! So pain upon pain, as a couple, you keep building an insurmountable wall driving the nails of “D” into the coffin that has become your marriage.
All you have to do is take one another by the hand and decide to embrace God’s grace and love; decide to walk hand in hand with each other and with God. To take a deep breath and remember how blessed and happy you felt on your wedding day and that your spouse is a gift from God. I believe that the scriptures from 1 Corinthians 13 4-7 should be spoken and expounded upon during all marriage ceremonies… because when God is included in our relationships, there’s no doubt that it will be healed and restored…
Back to the book of Ecclesiastes, I believe that if Solomon had chosen the path of his father David and chose to be a “man after God’s heart”, that he wouldn’t have written a lot of this book…